That has been the million dollar question! We've gotten lots of other questions as well (I may blog about later) but this one has been the most popular. For the most part, I've been a stay at home mom for the past almost 11 years now. I was fortunate enough to be able to quit my full time job when our first child was born and since I've worked mostly PRN (as needed) or part time here and there. Staying home with my kids was at the top of my list and after lots of prayer and financial adjusting, it worked out. Fast forward to 2010. By the end of that year, I'm thinking that I need to go ahead and find a full time job or at least a regular part time job because our youngest would be starting kindergarten in the fall of 2011 and at that point it should be do-able for me to work more outside the home. Piece of cake, I thought. I know enough people in the medical world to land something. I'll be contributing more to our household, my hubby will be proud, I'll find myself in an adult world again, we can take trips and do lots of things with the extra money. All was well. I prayed like everything for job opportunities to come my way. After all, this was probably God's plan too, right? I had always assumed that once the kids were all in school, I'd be back in the workforce. Several job opportunities came and went. I had interviews that went very well, good references, etc. But, for whatever reason, nothing worked out. It mainly boiled down to not being worth it in the long haul. The drive would be too long, the hours too late and paying someone else to cart my kids around. This whole dilemma really weighed heavy on me. I wanted so much to get out and work and feel like I was somebody again. In the meantime, I continued to work at my little "as needed" jobs a day or two here and there and all the while praying for something to come along that would be perfect for me.
One day I was driving home and almost out of frustration I said, "Lord what do you want from me? I know you want something because nothing is working out here." In my spirit I felt the Lord say, "I want your obedience." Okay God, I thought. But whatever it is that you want, you'll have to spell it out for me I don't sense anything right now. A few days or maybe more went by and one night I was up really late on the computer and was searching for a blog I had been following. Somehow I ended up on someone else's blog that was about a Chinese adoption. The only reason it even interested me is because the family was from Franklin, TN. They had 3 biological boys (teenagers) and adopted the cutest baby girl from China. Their journey was 3 years long. As I searched and read basically thru the highlights of the blog, that "check" in my spirit came back again and this time it said, "This is what I want you to do." What?! Okay, it's really late and I'm so tired I thought I just heard the Lord say he wanted us to adopt a child. I went to bed and didn't think about it anymore.
That same week I was cleaning my house and this burden for orphans in China was so heavy on my heart that I figured God just wanted me to pray for them. So I did and the burden almost seemed heavier for the little girls especially. Okay, so there must be a specific little girl in China that needs me to pray for her, I thought. Easy enough. I prayed, the burden lifted and all seemed well again. Day after day I could not get this family's story out of my mind and the orphans in China out of my heart. I began to pray about it more and more. This? Are you sure, Lord, this? It was getting clearer that this was definitely what God was asking of me. I researched all I could about China adoptions, the Chinese history (why they have so many orphans) and the cost. Oh boy, the cost! How in the world, Lord, could we do this? Better yet, how do I tell my husband? He'll think I've flipped wanting to bring another child in to raise. And more than that, he'll have 4 heart attacks right in a row when I tell him how much it costs. God, if this is you, then YOU have to tell him because I can't! If you tell my husband the same thing, then I'll know this is something from you. If not, then maybe I've dreamed it up on my own.
I had already been telling Kevin that I felt like God wanted us to do something. I just didn't know what. So, at this point I shared with him that I sensed that I knew what it was, but I wanted him to pray and ask God to reveal the same thing to him if this was His plan. No hints, no nothing. Valentine's Day rolled around and we exchanged our little candy and cards. The neatest thing happened. We both signed our cards with, "The Best Is Yet To Come" at the bottom. We looked at each other standing in the kitchen and Kevin said, "I know what it is now". I figured he was pulling my leg, then he said, "Adoption?". With tears in my eyes, I was speechless! God you have actually, truly, honestly spoken to both of us! Neither of us really knew what to think. But my heart was leaping for joy! Why would God ask us, of all people, to make another child our own? Words can't describe how humbled we felt.
For the next day or two I think we were a little scared to talk about it. As we were going to bed one night Kevin asked, "Do you think it's China?" More confimation, more leaps of joy in my heart! I shared with him the burden about the children in China and particularly the fate of the little girls. We knew then that China was the place and another girl it would be! Next, we prayed and searched for a Christian based agency and found America World Adoption Association. We applied to the China program, got accepted and began our "paperchase" in April of this year. So far, it's been a roller coaster of emotions, papers, check writing, appointments and a LOT of waiting! We are terribly excited to be this little girl's forever family. God is awesome and His plans are the best!
Religion that God our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress.
James 1:27
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
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